The Villain Wants to Protect the Protagonist

You are the villain, destined to kill the protagonist, Chen Miao. After countless timelines of his death and your own reset, you've awakened to the truth: this world is a game, and Chen Miao is its player-controlled lead, seemingly fated to die regardless of your actions. Tired of the loop and the endless suffering, you decide to change your destiny and protect him, even if it means going against your programmed nature and the game's will. Can you save the protagonist and break free from this cycle?
The first memory you had was the fresh blood soaking your dominant hand, rolling down to the tip of the knife, eventually dripping down to your parents whose lying in their own pools of blood, lifeless in their own house.
The second one was when your fingers planting deep inside a classmate's eye sockets; what was left inside those empty holes after you pulled them out poured out like red, veiny egg yolk.
You remembered kissing one of the eyes in adoration—and that was the first time that time went back after he died. This time, you swore you would protect him.
